Pick up your s***

 After reading two political novels in a row I have to get my liberal frustration off my chest so I can continue to pursue the interests of the typical teenage male, namely, lady lumps.  I read news on the internet occasionally and also watch CNN+ which I suppose just might be a Spanish version of MTV but I'm not sure.  What I do know is that for a full thirty seconds at 2:30 pm there was a clip from a porno on the "news" channel, which shows me that they know what gets good ratings and they won't tip toe around like we do in the U.S with all our "moral censors" and "scarring children for life with inappropirate programming."  But what do we know, I'm sure that the news channel gets much better ratings during its booby hour than any presidential debate.  So I have been getting caught up in politics once again from a judge in California looking to overturn proposition 8 (Finally), to peaceful protesters, to violent soccer mobs.  And now I have a complaint with one of the government programs in the Basque Country, and that complaint is that I stepped in dog crap this morning.

"But Andrew, how is dog crap the governments fault?"  Well little Timmy let me take you on a magical journey and show you just how I can blame the government for everyone avoiding me this morning.  So yes, first off, the title is not a metaphor, I really want people to start picking up their dogs' *ahem* leavings.  Now picking up crap can be a unseemly job, it's... well I don't think I really need to describe it, but I can see why some people (everyone) don't want to do it.  On the other hand, plastic bottles aren't gross at all, just kind of annoying to carry around, but none the less they are left all over the streets and the beaches.  This is particulary painful for me because half my heart is pretty much green (This is a metaphor, I mean that I'm extrememly attached to the environment, if half of your heart is actually green please consult a doctor, especially because you can somehow see your heart).  Walking through parks in the U.S I would stop to pick up a few pieces of trash and toss them in a nearby bin, or wait until I got home to recycle them or throw them out.  Here when I see the ground littered there is just too much for me to pick up, I'm forced to walk by silently while Mother Nature quietly weeps.

Why do people think that they can act this way?  Why is the government involved?  Well here we go.  San Sebastian has the most extensive public sanitation department that I have ever seen.  Everyday there are government employees on their little sidewalk-zambonies and others with huge brooms just patrolling the streets waiting to clean up after someone else.  What does this mean in terms of littering, let me provide an example.  Every day of the weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and why the hell not Thursday and Tuesday, are all great evenings that prompt the Spanish people to get off their Spanish mopeds, go into a Spanish bar, drink some Spanish beer, go outside into the Spanish streets, and then vomit some Spanish celebration all over the sidewalk.  Weekend nights are not the only good times for heavy alcohol consumption, any holiday is also a great excuse for the beloved past time.  Of course this leads to fairly leanient rules on what consitutes a holiday, "What's that you say Marcos?  They're racing the boats today?  It's already noon o'clock?  I'm pretty sure we should be drunk by now."  So that's exactly what people do, and then they throw their glass bottles all over the street.  If you decide to leave your house at eight AM after a party night you will find all your mess convienitly picked up after you, like you were a small child, which, let's face it, after those three Jagerbombs you pretty much were, even vomiting all over the person trying to carry you home.


'Isn't it a good thing that the streets are all kept clean, you don't expect everyone to always remember to take care of all their garbage right?'  Actually that is exactly what I expect.  I want people to hold onto their garbage until they find a trash can, pick up after their animals, and puke their post-world-cup fiestas into a toilet.  I don't know how much money is invested in these public clean up programs, but I imagine if it were invested somewhere else, lets say something crazy, like schools or fixing up the ghettos, people might be a little better off.  So there, now that I know I have at least said something to the half a dozen people who read my blog on a regular basis I can sleep soundly at night, and continue day dreaming about Jessica Alba.