My family

They are coming, again.  No warning has yet been issued to the people of Spain because of the wide spread panic such an announcement would cause.  Their last spree through San Sebastian, Madrid, and Barcelona caused enough emotional scarring that Spain has seen a triple in the demand of psychiatrists.  It is impossible to determine how much damage was caused by the inappropriate jokes or tasteless movie quotes, but the results have been devastating.  The second invasion will include two more offspring of the Kingston man (along with two unrelated, but equally insane, counterparts to the spawn) I interviewed average citizens on the streets of Spain, they had the following reactions:  42% demanded the government start evacuations of the areas that would be hardest hit, 23% ran screaming from the scene, 33% had a PTSD flashback and curled into a ball, and the remaining two percent backed away muttering 'No, no, can't be, they're... they're just a myth.'
Yes, my family is coming to Spain and I'm feeling giddy and energized, along with a few other symptoms that come along with high doses of illicit substances.  I have been preparing for this visit by buffing up on my Spanish because as far as I know my family's collective Spanish has yet to expand past several key phrases, such as, 'Where is the beer?'  'What types of beer do you have?'  'We would like another round of beer.'  'Yes, the liter glasses please.'  'I have once again clogged your toilet.'  Although in theory that is enough Spanish for them to survive one tends to forget that even with all that vocab they would still be unable to purchase gin or rum. 
My family's visit is not the only activity I have planned for the second half of April.  I will be in Madrid two days before my parents arrive to celebrate the birthday of a friend.  Then after my family leaves I come back to San Sebastian to relax for a few days before my host city will be invaded by a gang only slightly less insane than my parents, Rotary exchange students.  However these 'students' have been present in Spain for seven months so hopefully a natural defense has had time to develop enough to protect the city from the potent form of insanity that will build exponentially for every exchanger added. 
Less than a week separates me from that band of socially taboo lunatics, and I could not be happier.  When you grow up in a family where absolutely everything is open to discussion (from political views, to sexuality, to symptoms of a current disease you might have) it becomes the norm.  Sure it can lead to some situations of TMI (Too Much Information, for those of you not in the texting generation), but I would rather have that than being left in the dark.  Sure my dad doesn't need to know who won the blood donation race between me and mom, just like I don't need to know about the three way battle between his lower intestine, the indoor plumbing, and the Mexican food.  However, I've gotten so used to saying whatever come to mind that living any other way is taxing, just all these unused thoughts bouncing around in my head.
So attention Spain, the Kingstons may cure shame, misunderstandings, awkwardness, shyness, and sobriety.  Side effects may include, Bridge, Boratism, and spontaneous combustion of your dysfunctional man parts.  So prepare yourself, it's gonna be a party.