With only a month and three weeks left in Spain I have decided to move onto my third language. Well technically practice my second language because French came before Spanish for me, but no one really cares about technicalities. For example, I once fought five people, by myself, and won, now technically they were all sleeping nursing home patients with heart conditions, but no one needs to hear that part of the story. So French, language of fries and toast, formerly of romance, but then too many creepers with greasy mustaches started speaking it. I have several reasons for relearning this language, some personal, some general. My main personal reason for buffing my french is that I have a great friend who will be bringing his family to visit me this summer in Canada and I can't wait to see him. General reasons, aka why anyone would learn French, one, it is a widely spoken language, and two, the women. I know that I bashed the romanticism of French just a moment ago, but that is just on an overall/worldwide level, for the individual it can be very useful, as long as you don't grow ridiculous facial hair patterns. French is most useful for picking up American girls who think it is beautiful but have no real idea what you're saying. Trying to pick up a French girl with French is significantly more difficult because you're no longer allowed to spout gibberish in her complicated language. I would like to get to a level where I can speak French as well as I speak Spanish because there are some fairly attractive European women, and I hear with just two to three weeks of training they can learn to shave their legs, sit, and roll over. I learned it from a book 'Man's best friend, how to communicate and train,' so I assume I'll be making great friends, also according to this book I'll be able to get all the bitches I've ever dreamed of.
Now just for some random updates and observations of Spain. I have been exercising a fair amount this year, however my routines have not been what a normal person would describe as enjoyable. Running long distance alone, strength and core work outs alone, weeping to myself at night because of how lonely I am, with a spotter. For me exercising alone is not terrible, I just have to imagine I'm training for the zombie apocalypse (It's unavoidable, I've seen the documentaries), but every so often I enjoy utilizing what I worked for. I have not played Ultimate Frisbee in eight months, not only do I miss the adrenaline and competition but I miss how laid back it was. I have played some pick up basketball and pickup soccer here in Spain (not very often but more on this in a later post), and people get intense and people get pissed. I think that was the main reason I quit most team sports, screwing up for the team. So on the other side there is breakdancing, but since my host apartment is not designed for the violent, flailing motions invloved in bboying I have to practice outside, in public. In the U.S I had a crew, basically a group of people who help one another out and ward off haters. Haters are like mosquito with slightly larger brains, they buzz annoyingly, suck what they can, but all it really takes is a good slap to get rid of one. Unfortunately with their advanced brain function they learn to suck at one's back, which isn't a problem if you have a friend to guard you, but all alone I feel vulnerable to the hate. I have tried to find other dancers in Spain but I think learning to dance is too embarrassing for them. So I dance alone, without music, strangers watching as they pass by, sometimes I give one or two a bitch slap, just in case.
During one of my runs recently I came to accept some realities about the United States versus Europe. I passed by a woman on my run who was taking an active interest to help out the global population crisis, by chain smoking cigarettes. But her commitment did not stop there, while smoking she was also sticking her head in a stroller to comfort a baby, reassuring the child that he would be consuming the earth's precious resources for far fewer years than the selfish bastards like me. The only problem I find with smoking as a way to control the population is that it's just too damn sexy, smokers promptly ruin the benefit they're having on the planet by reproducing like rabbits. In America we have far fewer smokers, but our drive to save the planet is no less powerful, in fact I believe we are doing a better job. With fast food we have solved the tobacco conundrum, lower life expectancy and less attractive as a reproduction partner. Unfortunately fast food just doesn't agree with me so I can't do my part to keep the population down because I'm already cursed with extreme sexiness. Were I to start smoking sure I would die a few years earlier but with the added attractiveness, by my calculations, the planet would be unable to support my offspring by the year 2027 with my children making up 12% of the world population. It's a tough life.
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